How to Use Sex Toys for Beginners

Written by: Victoria L | Published on March 13, 2025

Sex toys are there to add excitement, variety and to deepen intimacy during partner experiences. Introducing sex toys to your play will allow you to explore new sensations and boost arousal. And for those who might struggle to get the mojo flowing occasionally, they can help to increase sexual confidence too.

Learning how to use sex toys for beginners can bring about a range of emotions and questions. It’s important that you always feel comfortable and relaxed when you’re using sex toys. If you aren’t emotionally and physically prepped for the experience, then it’s likely to cause further anxiety and may put you off sex toys altogether – and you’d be missing out, trust me!

When you first use sex toys, you can feel a range of emotions from nervousness, excitement, curiosity, or even guilt. Some feel empowered to explore their bodies, while others may feel unsure and awkward. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s normal, so don’t worry. But the important thing is to get rid of the stigma surrounding sex toys and just have a great time.

Remember, sex toys now appear in 40% of bedrooms across the US (and that’s just the ones who admit it). So, you’re not alone in taking that step. They’re now seen as ways to enhance your sex life and build intimacy and are in no way a refection of inadequacy or dissatisfaction. So, I’m here to tell you to embrace them, judgement-free, let loose open communication with your partner and enjoy!

If you’re new to trying sex toys, then you might be feeling excited but also a little overwhelmed by the sheer number of choices that are available on the market.

But it’s massively important to choose the right types of sex toys for you to ensure you enjoy sex and you’re comfortable. This is what you’ll need to look out for:

1. Types of stimulation

Think about masturbation or sex with your partner. What kind of stimulation do you usually enjoy? Is it clitoral, vaginal, penile, or even anal? Trying to find a way to replicate this with a sex toy is the best place to start.

2. Sex toys for beginners

There are lots of weird and wonderful options out there, but you’ll need to select an option that’s good for beginners. There’s no point in selecting a complex toy that may put you off completely. Beginner vibrators, dildos, and penis rings are good for first-timers.

3. Use lube!

The first time you use a sex toy, you’re likely to be a little apprehensive. That’s totally normal. But this can also prevent natural lubrication. The feel and texture of a sex toy will also be very different from sex with a partner, so it can be uncomfortable at first if you don’t know what to expect. When you buy your first sex toys for beginners, make sure you buy lube too. You won’t regret the added moisture.

Pro Tip: Check out the type of lube you’re buying. If you have a silicone sex toy, then you’ll need a water-based lube. This is because silicone lube erodes the coating on silicone toys and will eventually make your toy unsafe to use.

4. Start slow

It’s not a race. It’s important to take your time and enjoy the experience. Rushing and using high-intensity settings from the get-go may put you off altogether. Start with low-intensity vibrations and explore what feels good at your own pace.

5. Cleaning and caring for your sex toys

Cleaning and caring for your sex toys is just as important as learning how to use them. Always buy a specific toy cleaner or use warm, soapy water to clean your toys after use. It’ll make them last longer and ensure hygiene.

6. Read the instructions

This seems like a very un-sexy part of the process, but instructions are essential! Every toy is different, and it’s important that you learn to use it correctly. This is especially true of rechargeable or waterproof toys.

Your first time using sex toys should be an enjoyable experience, free from stress or pressure. Perhaps test out your toys whilst you’re alone first, then move on to a partnered experience once you’ve built up your confidence.

7. Communication

This is the MOST important thing to think about. If you’re trying out sex toys with a partner, make sure they’re onboard and open enough to be supportive. Sex toys shouldn’t be hidden away. Talk through what feels good with your partner and work together to find a compromise that you’re both happy with. Feeling like your lover is supportive can make a world of difference to your enjoyment.

Your first time using vibrators can be daunting. So, here’s what you need to know.

Rabbit vibrators are the most popular type of vibrator sold worldwide. They come in various shapes, sizes, and colors to stimulate the clitoris and G-spot simultaneously. And they’re good at it! Only around 30% of women can orgasm from G-spot stimulation alone. But these bad boys can get in the G-action whilst also giving the clit boost that you need.

Once you’ve chosen one with textures that you feel will work for you, get some lube too. Water-based lube is a safe choice just because it feels most like natural lubrication, and it’s unlikely to damage your vibrator.

Start on the lowest vibration setting (remember to read the instructions). Usually, rabbits will have the controls conveniently placed so you can reach to increase the sensation if you want to later.

Gently insert the tip and shaft as far as feels comfortable, leaving the external bunny stimulator on the outside resting on your clitoris. Experiment with different speeds and patterns, thrusting in and out until you find something that feels right.

Pro Tip: If the stimulation feels a bit too intense, adjust the angle so the internal and external elements work separately.

A clit suction vibrator is the ideal sex toy for beginners. It gives intense pleasure around the clitoris using airwaves to simulate oral sex.

To get started, simply turn it on at the lowest setting and place it just above your clit for optimum suction. The toy will vibrate and use various pulsation modes to stimulate your clitoris as you move it up and down to find the best pleasure spot.

Adding some lube can really help to enhance the vibrations and it feels much more like the real deal than using it dry.

Pro Tip: Try it in the bath or shower. Lots of models are waterproof (but obviously check the instructions first). The water pressure makes all the difference.

If a rabbit vibrator is too much too soon, let’s look at how to use a bullet vibrator instead.

Bullet vibrators work the clitoris and focus solely on external stimulation. They’re shaped just like - you guessed it - a bullet. They can be a bit fiddly to keep hold of at first, but they’re a great toy for couples once you’re confident, as they’re so versatile.

First, test the feeling against the inner thighs, working your way up to the clit. Go for constant pressure or tap gently on and off to heighten the anticipation.

The best thing about bullet vibrators is they’re discreet - pop them in your bag for travel. They also work well for couples’ fun by creating vibrations in other erogenous zones. Try using it for nipple play or hold it over the clit during sex to heighten the sensation.

Pro Tip: Bullet vibrators are a great way to intensify the sexual experience for men too. Try rubbing this against the testicles or perineum during oral sex for extra excitement.

Cock rings are easy to use and a cheap first option if you aren’t too sure. They’re designed to enhance stimulation for both partners and can even prolong erections if you’re feeling a bit of stage fright.

Use some lube to help it slide on easily, and slip it over the penis right down to the base. Some even fit around the testicles, too, for added pleasure, but let’s not get carried away.

It should be snug but not too tight, delivering the hardest erection for longer periods. Some come with vibration settings, too, so you can both get a buzz on.

Pro Tip: Don’t wear these for longer than 30 minutes as they can become uncomfortable and mess with your circulation.

There are tons of G-spot vibrators on the market, and they typically all work in a similar way. The basics are insert, thrust, and increase the vibrations. But it’s not always as simple as that. Getting the right angle can have a huge impact on your sexual pleasure when using a G-spot vibrator.

We’re all familiar with how difficult it is to find the G-spot. It’s something that’s often talked about as a joke. But the truth is, it’s actually not that easy to find, especially with a relatively straight object, so we shouldn’t put our gents down as much as we do.

The G-spot is located on the inner front wall of the vagina. It’s pretty easy to feel with fingers as they curve to hit it, but with a penis, unless the angle is perfect, he’s likely to scoot right past it. That’s sometimes the same issue with a vibrator.

Massage wands are incredibly versatile and can be used for both relaxation or pleasure, so they’re a great first toy to enjoy solo or with a partner.

Use it to glide seamlessly over tense muscles or sensitive erogenous zones at different angles to activate your nerve endings. It’s good to get the blood flowing and a great beginner for both partners when entering into foreplay. Giving your partner a sensual massage with a massage wand is guaranteed to get them in the mood.

It’s good to know how to use a vibrator during sex too.

Incorporating toys into your partnered sex can enhance the pleasure for both partners and increase intimacy as the other partner learns more about your body and what you enjoy.

There are lots of different types of vibrators, depending on what you want to achieve. A full penetrative vibrator could warm you up or allow your partner some respite during sex so they can last longer. Whereas external vibrators can be incorporated into foreplay to boost the anticipation.

Pro Tip: Vibrators aren’t just there to enhance intercourse. They work really well with oral sex too. If your mouth regularly gets tired during a blow job or cunnilingus, some added vibration can increase the pleasure, give your jaw a rest and hurry things along.

Trying sex toys for the first time can be exciting and sensual. But it’s important that you always communicate and listen to your body. Sex toys, if used incorrectly, could equally leave you feeling unfulfilled or even uncomfortable.

Here are a few tips to consider:

• Do your research: Look for a toy that suits your comfort levels and desires. Don’t go too big too soon.
• Use body-safe materials: Look for non-porous materials like silicone, glass, or stainless steel to ensure safety and easy cleaning. It’s better to go for a softer material like silicone to begin with.
• Start with something simple: There are lots of beginner-friendly sex toys out there. Don’t look for something kinky because you think it looks cool. Work up to it.
• Use plenty of lube: This is a must! Purchase a good-quality water-based lube and use plenty of it. Better too much than too little.
• Clean your toy before and after use: Remember, you don’t know how long it’s been in the box. Always wash it before use and definitely, after every use, to keep it clean.
• Never share toys without protection: If you have a vibrator that you share with others, never use it without washing it first. If you can use a condom on the vibrator too, that’s even better.

Trying sex toys for the first time should be a pleasurable experience; never forget that. If you feel pressured to increase sensations that don’t feel good, then it’s time to stop.

The best way to approach this is with curiosity. Be open-minded and patient. You might find that some sex toys for beginners don’t work for you. But this doesn’t mean that it’s a lost cause. Try something else, try a new angle, or try different movements and techniques. The beauty of sex toys is that there’s something for everyone, so get stuck in and enhance your sex life in your own way.

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